How social media is harming your relationship

When you think you have found the one, it is common to want to let everyone know. Therefore, you spread the word through social media. You change your relationship status on Facebook, and you put your anniversary date in your bio on Instagram. Is this wrong? Not exactly, but Andrew Arnold explains in his article social media can have a negative impact on your relationship if you let it.

Some may think this is another hoax to get people off social media, but Havas Media conducted a study which shows the true impact social media has on people. Their survey found nearly one-third of participants exaggerate on social media, including about their relationships. Also, 68% said they have used social media to check on ex-partners, and 75% said they feel social media can destroy or harm relationships.

Why is this? Well, Arnold explains, “this is most likely because social media has a way of creating insecurities and frictions, and young people find a need to present themselves and their relationships in the best light possible in order to appear to ‘have it all,’ but not necessarily in real life.” I completely agree. People tend to focus a lot on how their relationship appears on social media than in real life. In my past experiences, I felt the need to let people know I entered a new relationship to feel better about myself.

So, how does social media specifically get under the skin of your relationship? Arnold explains it does so in three ways.

1.     Social media gives you unrealistic expectations. While browsing around on social media, you may come across posts of other couples and begin to compare your relationship to theirs. Arnold mentions the perfect example of engagement. You may see a friend from high school post a picture of her shiny new engagement ring and begin to question your relationship. Should you be engaged too? Is your partners proposal going to be as grand as ones you have seen? You may even see other couples consistently posting cute pictures together while traveling or on dates and wonder why you and your partner do not do that. It is easy to let other couples get into your head, but it is best to keep in mind they are putting on a show to make their relationship seem amazing. This does not mean it is. You and your partner are completely different people in a completely different relationship. Do not let other relationships effect yours.

2.     Caring more does not mean sharing more. If your partner does not talk about your relationship on social media, it can become unsettling. Are they hiding something? Do they not want others to know about your relationship? These questions could end up driving you insane. Just because your partner does not frequently post about your relationship does not always mean there is something wrong. They may be a more private person. There is no need to get upset with them if they do not share everything to everyone.

3.     Social media can bring out your crazy stalker instincts. When you are in a new relationship, it can be easy to sneak onto your partners page and look for anything suspicious. You may also feel tempted to creep on past partners as well. In most scenarios, this only causes unneeded stress and harms the trust between you and your partner.

Overall, social media can be part of your relationship if you are wise with it. When my current boyfriend and I first got together, we talked about each other on social media all the time. We constantly told everyone how happy we were together and posted cute pictures. Three years later, we only post about each other four to five times a year! Does this upset us? Not at all! Remember, working on your relationship with your partner is more important than working on your relationship’s image on social media.